


The Memory That Matters

by BurntKloverfield



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Amnesia, Angst, Domestic, Established Relationship, F/M, Fluff, Hospital Setting, Memory Loss, Minor Armitage Hux/Rose Tico, TRoS doesn't exist, diverges at the Throne Room scene in TLJ, kinda angsty
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-04
Updated: 2020-05-04
Packaged: 2021-03-03 01:20:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,829
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24006481
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BurntKloverfield/pseuds/BurntKloverfield
Summary: The last thing Ben remembers is the fight in Snoke's Throne Room aboard the Supremacy. When he wakes up in a med center, he learns that a lot has happened since his last memory.
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 14
Kudos: 89





	The Memory That Matters

**Author's Note:**

> May the 4th be with you!

Ben groaned and rolled over, sore and still groggy. He tried to open his eyes, but they were heavy. Slowly, sounds of a medic droid reached his mind. 

“Patient is regaining consciousness.”

Ben tried to remember what happened, where he was, why he would be laying in a med center. Snoke’s throne room on the Supremacy flashed through his mind. He had killed his master. He had killed the Supreme Leader. He and Rey had defeated the Praetorian guard. They had fought over the legacy lightsaber, splitting it in half, just as something had happened to the Supremacy. That was what had happened. Of course, it had to have been. 

He tried to open his eyes again, this time, squinting at the bright white of the ceiling. “Where am I?” His voice was dry and hoarse. It hurt to speak. 

“Northwest Medical Center,” the med droid informed, “Theed, Naboo.”

They had been nowhere near Naboo. He had visited once with his mother as a young child. 

“Ben!” Rey screeched from the doorway. 

He tried to look at her, but he found that he was still squinting and everything was far too bright. 

“You’re awake!” She was instantly at his bedside and taking his cheeks in her hands and bringing him into a desperate kiss.

She was kissing him. Why was she kissing him? Was she alright? Had she been injured in the battle? 

She finally pulled away, a hand still on his cheek, the other holding his hand. “They told me I had to take a walk before I started messing with their monitors…again.” Her eyes were flitting between his eyes and over his face, and he couldn’t believe she was looking at him like this. “And of course, you wake up the moment I leave your side.”

He blinked, trying to clear his eyes. “What happened?”

Rey sighed and rolled her eyes, plopping down into the chair beside the cot, still holding his hand. She was running her thumb over a little metal ring on his finger. “Temiri got distracted, crashed into the lake. He’s fine, thank the Force, but that speeder is completely waterlogged. A few gungans managed to get it out, but the motivator is going to have to be completely rebuilt. You got thrown and hit your head. You’ve been out for nearly a whole day. I healed what I could, but you’ve always had a hard head.”

Ben stared at her chattering on so happily and openly. She was happy, genuinely happy. And here with him. Happy to be here with him. And none of this made sense to him. He decided to face the first thing that seemed out of place. “Why are we on Naboo?”

Rey laughed. “Where else would we be? We’ve lived here for years! You’re the one who insisted!”

Ben tried to sit up, but his body protested. 

“Careful, that head injury was serious,” Rey laughed. 

Ben looked at her again. She was dressed differently, hair down, and with a stronger Force Signature. He reached out, trying to feel her, trying to piece together what she had told him. He felt the utter relief surging through their bond. Their bond was still there, and she was relieved, though she was shoving all of her fear and anxiety and distress down deep to try to keep them away from him. She wanted him to see her happy. 

“You’re trying to hide your emotions from me,” he said. 

Her smile faltered, but she nodded. “I was so worried, especially when you didn’t wake up. I did the best I could to heal you, but you still didn’t wake up. You know I can’t live without you. That whole dyad thing, remember?”

He shook his head. “No, I don’t. I don’t remember. What is a dyad?”

Rey’s face changed. “You don’t remember?”

“The last thing I remember is…the Supremacy.”

“The Supremacy?”

“Killing Snoke, fighting the Praetorian guards, asking you to join me.”

“Ben,” Rey whispered, “I’m going to look, I’m going to see what you remember. I’m not doing anything except looking.”

Ben nodded and opened his mind, let her in. Her presence was warm and familiar, but what surprised him most was that she was familiar with him, with his mind, his thoughts, his memories, like she had walked the corridors of his consciousness often. 

He studied her face as she searched his mind. Why was he allowing this? She had turned him down. She had tried to take the saber. She was angry with him for…not saving the fleet. Her face though showed greater and greater distress, and tears tumbled over her cheeks. 

“Five years,” she breathed. “You don’t have a single memory from the past five years.” She took his hand, still in hers, and held it up, showing off the ring. “We’re married. More than married. We’re a dyad in the Force, something like soulmates. I did join you.” Her tears hadn’t stopped. “Well, you joined me, but still.” She set his hand down on the bed and pulled away. “And you don’t remember any of it.” Her eyes suddenly widened. “You didn’t kill your mother. When you fired on the ships, you didn’t kill her. She survived. She’s actually on her way here now. I remember you were so distraught about it. You thought you had actually killed her. After Han, you couldn’t have handled her, too.” She looked down at her hands in her lap. “Ben, I don’t know what you need to hear, right now. So much has happened, and you are such a good man, and I…” Her voice caught in her throat. “I love you, so much, and I need you to know that. that right now, I love you. So much has happened in the past five years, and I need you to know that I love you.”

He reached out for her, both through the Force and with his hand. She placed her hand in his, and he gave it a squeeze. “Did you love me then?”

Rey laughed, rubbing tears from her cheeks. “I didn’t know that I did then, but I did.”

He frowned, remembering when they had first touched hands through the Force and had shared visions of the future. “The visions, when we touched hands…”

“Some things have happened, some things have not, yet.” 

“Who is Temiri?”

Rey bit her lip, trying to hold down a smile. “Our son.”

Ben finally jerked upright. 

“Shhhhh, no, we adopted him,” Rey shushed, squeezing his hand. 

“We adopted?”

Rey nodded. “Him, and two other children, Arashell, and Oniho. Temiri is the only Force sensitive one, though.” She patted his hand. “And no, we don’t have any babies. You haven’t forgotten that. We’d like to, but with the war, and those three, and rebuilding the Galaxy, we’ve been busy.”

“Not busy enough,” a short woman greeted from the doorway. 

“Rose!” Rey greeted, standing to give her a hug. “Where’s—?”

“Right here,” Armitage Hux said, finally making his appearance behind Rose, cradling a small child with dark hair in his arms. “The droid said he’s finally awake.” He looked towards the bed and nodded to Ben. “And indeed he is.”

Rey was suddenly pushing them out of the room. “He has some memory loss. The last thing he remembers is killing Snoke.” Ben could hear her talking in the hallway, but he wondered what had happened in the past five years for Hux to cordially visit him after an accident, seemingly to see if he was okay? Had they become friends? How had Rey become friendly with Hux?

“That was years ago!” Rose squeaked. “That was still in the middle of the war!”

“He doesn’t think he’s still in the middle of it, does he?” Hux asked. “He wasn’t exactly in the best place mentally then.”

Rey glanced back and made sure the door shut behind them. 

Ben laid back and stared up at the ceiling again, trying to take everything in. He had lost years of memories, and from the sound of it, they had been the best years of his life. Great pain bubbled up in his chest. He had suffered his entire life, and now he had lost the best things that had ever happened to him. He had married Rey, the only person who had ever understood him. They had discovered that they were literal soulmates. They were raising children. His mother was still alive, and they were on good enough terms that she was coming to see him after an accident. The war was over, but he didn’t know the status of the rest of the world. He had somehow become friendly enough with Armitage Hux that he would also come to visit, along with his wife and child? Temiri was the child that had crashed the speeder. The children they had adopted were old enough to drive. They somehow had settled down on Naboo. And the first things that Rey had made sure to tell him were that his mother was alive and that Rey loved him. 

The door opened, and Leia entered, pausing to let the door close and looking at Ben. “Rey told me you had some memory loss.”

He nodded. “She says it’s been five years since I killed Snoke on the Supremacy. She’s filled me in on a few things, but I can’t remember anything that has happened.” He took a deep breath. “I wasn’t the one who fired on your ship, but I was the one leading that squadron. I am sorry.”

Leia laughed and came to his side. “You have apologized to me over and over and over. It’s been forgiven.” Her face saddened. “And you don’t remember my apologies. Or Luke’s.”

“Luke apologized?”

Leia laughed at the confused surprise on Ben’s face. “He did. When Rey brought you back to the Resistance, he apologized to you the moment you were conscious.”

“What happened? How did I get here, from being Kylo Ren and Snoke’s…” He shook his head. “From that to being married to Rey and living on Naboo?” He gestured to the doorway. “And what is Hux doing here?”

Leia quirked a smile. “Hux was a spy.” She patted his knee, laughing at the shock on his face. “Ben, there are five years to catch you up on, but I can tell you that this life you’re living now is making you so incredibly happy. I’ve never seen you as happy as you’ve been since you found Rey.” She glanced back at the door and back to him. “You destroyed Snoke for her, and Snoke was the dark in your head all your life. I’m sorry I couldn’t protect you from him.” She smiled and patted his knee again. “Once he was out of your head, you became the man you were always destined to be.”

He hesitantly put his hand over his mother’s. “How do I know this isn’t a trick?”

Leia laughed. “It really is five years later, and you really have changed, for the better. You’re not restrained. You’re not in a cell. You’re still able to use the Force. If you need someone who will definitely tell you the truth, I can have Chewie or Poe Dameron or Finn Skywalker come to tell you more.”

“Finn Skywalker?”

“Luke made a joke, Finn took it seriously, the boy was only known as a number, and he likes people giving him names. And Rey insisted he take it, because she said that when you two got married, you gave her your last name, and Finn never had a name of his own. And once everyone figured he was Force sensitive, he quickly became Luke’s protege. Rey was too much of a firecracker for Luke to train.”

“Who is Finn?”

Leia frowned and looked away, “oh, I can never remember his trooper number. I think you two have a running joke that he’s a traitor?”

“FN-2187?”

“That’s it.”

“He’s Force Sensitive?”

Leia nodded. “He is. Not as powerful as you or Rey, but when you two are a literal manifestation of the Force itself, it’s to be expected.”

“Awwwww, come on!” someone whined from the hallway. “I have to go tell him I’m sorry!”

“And there’s your reckless pilot.” She stood and pat his hand. “I’m still waiting for a little bundle of joy, but I do love those grandchildren you’ve given me. Oniho is certainly going to become a senator. He’s got the head for it.”

The door slid open, and three teenagers tumbled into the room, followed by Rey. She gave Leia a hug, and Leia in turn hugged each of the teenagers now lined up at the end of Ben’s bed. 

“Ben, meet our children,” Rey announced proudly, gesturing to them. “Temiri.” The boy, just as tall as Rey, waved, but his face looked sick and worried. “Arashell.” The red headed girl wore her hair in Alderaanian braids and beamed at Ben with the widest toothiest smile. “And Oniho.” The last boy was the tallest with a noble face and already a presence to command the room. He nodded to Ben.

“You really don’t remember us, Benlo?” Oniho asked.

He shook his head slowly, and repeated, “Benlo?”

“We didn’t speak Basic when we came to you. That’s what I called you for months before I could get your name right.”

“I’m so sorry!” Temiri shouted out. “It’s all my fault!”

“I’m fine, I’m alive,” Ben insisted.

“You look so strange without your scar,” Arashell commented, tilting her head. 

Ben reached up and touched his cheek. 

“That’s my doing,” Rey supplied. “When I tried healing you, it got all your scars, too. I miss it already. I always kind of thought of it as my claim on you, since I was the one who gave it to you.”

The door opened again, and a med droid entered. “The patient needs rest and further observation. General visitation has ended.”

Rey hugged the teenagers. “Go on home with Leia. Tem, no driving. You’re still too shaken up.”

“You’re coming home tonight?” Arashell asked. 

Rey shook her head. “No, you’ll be fine. I need to stay with Ben. There’s so much that I need to share with him. Go on. I’ll be home the moment I can take Ben home.” 

The teenagers obliged, finally leaving Rey and Ben alone. 

“This is all real, isn’t it?” Ben asked, reaching out for Rey’s hand. “This isn’t a vision?”

Rey smiled. “This is real, Ben. You have a family, people that love you, your soulmate.” She squeezed his hand. “And we are here for you. I’m here for you.” She hopped up to sit beside him on the bed. “These past five years that you don’t remember, they’ve only gotten better and better, and I’m so sad that you can’t remember them right now. But I love you, Ben. You’re not alone, and you made sure I wasn’t either. I don’t want things between us to go back to how they were when we first met because you don’t have all the memories. I can’t lose you. It would literally be losing half of my soul. I need you.” She pulled his hand up to her mouth and pressed a kiss to the back of his hand. “I’m going to share my memories with you, Ben, but they’re only what I remember, and what you shared with me. They won’t be everything you remembered, but it’s a start.”

“Rey,” Ben whispered. “Can that wait? I want to hold you. I’m still coming to terms that you love me.”

Rey laughed and threw her arms around him. 

He groaned. 

“Sorry,” she said, kissing his cheek. “I guess you’re still sore.”

“Yeah, I am.” He laughed. 

She laid her head on his chest, and he put his arms around her, marveling that she really was here, in his arms. 

“You were the one who said I love you first.”

“Was I?”

She nodded. “You were. Scared me. I hadn’t come to terms with it yet.”

“How did I tell you?”

“You said it by accident. I had just finished fixing that legacy saber. The crystal had split in two, so I made a double bladed saber, and I showed you, and the first words out of your mouth were I love you.” She rested her hand over his heart. “Ben, do you remember loving me?”

Ben was quiet for a moment. “I do, but I loved you before that.”

“What do you mean?”

“Don’t be afraid, I feel it, too?”

“That…” Rey buried her face in his chest. “You never told me that that was when you knew.”

“I want to remember all our lives together, but I’ve always loved you. I am glad that I remember meeting you.”

Rey nodded. “Ben, you should get some rest. Maybe you’ll get some of your memories back in the morning.”

Ben hugged her a little tighter. “You’re the only memory that matters.”

**Author's Note:**

> Ben needs happiness in his life. This could go on and on and on as Ben rediscovers all the beautiful things that have happened, and as he regains some memories, makes some new ones. But the point of this fic is that Rey is his happiness. 
> 
> Have a happy May 4th!
> 
> Also a quick breakdown of what happened in this divergence: Rey dragged unconscious Ben to the Resistance after the Throne Room. Hux being a spy and no more Supreme Leader and no more Master of the Knights of Ren caused the First Order to disintegrate, and the war ended. As things were cleaning up, Leia and Luke made their amends with Ben. Rose went back to Canto Bight for the stable children, and since Temiri was Force Sensitive, all three ended up in Ben and Rey's care. Finn is Force Sensitive, and that boy would have fricking loved being a Skywalker, and would have been such a good padawan for Luke. There was no Battle of Crait, so no Luke dying. There was no Palpatine surviving or clone making so Rey is just Rey Nobody thank you very much, and she is much happier being Rey Solo anyways. 
> 
> And Ben is super passive here because 1. he just had a major brain injury so 2. he's hopped up on some meds and 3. Rey's here and he's always so soft with her and 4. everything is so vastly different he doesn't know what to do with himself and 5. he may be impulsive but that impulsiveness is all for Rey and her protection and 6. There is no darkside Snoke hanging out in his brain.
> 
> He just gets to be happy, okay?
> 
> Looking for more? Check out my [profile](https://archiveofourown.org/users/BurntKloverfield/profile) or my [Reylo Ficlets.](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/ReyloFiclets)


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